Toothache

Sometimes a toothache can remind you of the most important things in life.

I woke up this morning to excruciating pain radiating through my tooth and into my swollen jaw. At first, I tried to ignore it like we always do with any discomfort hoping it will fade away. But as I sat waiting for the clock to hit 8:30 AM so I could call the dentist, the pain became impossible to ignore. And then, in that moment of vulnerability, it hit me,I miss having my people around me.

It's not that I don't have incredible friends here in the US..I do, and I'm genuinely grateful for every connection I've made. But there's something different about the bonds built over years, across shared memories and countless moments that have made you who you are. These new friendships, can't quite match the depth of connection I have with my people back in India.

Panic rising with the pain, I called my best friend. No answer. I called again. Still nothing. My anxiety spiked as each minute stretched longer, the throbbing in my jaw keeping time with my racing heart. Then I saw his text, and immediately my phone rang.

I broke down completely. Not just tearrs!! Full on heaving sobs with sounds I didn't know I could make. I cried like I hadn't in years, letting everything pour out through that phone call. I wasn't crying from the pain in my tooth or because of my fear of dentists(maybe a little bit because of this)! I was crying because I missed my people so deeply. The toothache had just cracked me open, and all that longing I'd been carrying poured out the moment I heard his voice.I don't know how but with him, I don't have to hold anything back.There's a level of comfort and safety there that I simply haven't found with anyone here yet.

Maybe someday that will change. Maybe I'll build those deep, unshakeable connections here too. Until then and even after, I'm holding onto these people who know me completely, even from thousands miles away.

I hope my tooth gets better soon, and I hope I don't find myself in this particular situation again.

And kids!! Brush your teeth. Trust me on this one.